What is the matter with my life? Why is it so deeply unfab?

Lt's a day and a half now since I snogged the Sex God...

I think I have snog withdrawal. My lips keep puckering up...

I tried snogging the back of my hand, but it's no good...

I wonder if the Sex God is having second thoughts about me because of my nose...

I have a HUGE nose that means I have to live for ever in the Ugly Home.